i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My dick has a subreddit
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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