oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
