guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
sarcasm needs its own font
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
