Will you blow on my dice?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
