Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
