Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
