Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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