Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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