turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
