She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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