@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
