k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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