Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
