Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
