At least make sure they are 18
Why
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
