weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
