i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
