Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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