just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
