Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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