I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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