five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
