You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
