her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
