Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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