Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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