I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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