i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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