and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
