What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
