i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
