I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
