it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
