Can Purell be used as lube?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
