Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
