how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
