the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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