Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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