Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
