u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
