I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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