I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
