Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
