people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the day after is always just damage control
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
