Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
