Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
