Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
