no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
