I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You were trust falling into bushes
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
