i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
