she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
